My second night staying in a room at El Gouna by myself – there was a giant bug in the bathroom.  OK, giant only to my bug-phobic self; take the space between your thumb and the next closest finger – that was the length.  The width was roughly a thumbnail.  It was enough to have me bouncing on my toes in squealish girly girl disgust.  So I call housekeeping.  Somehow, during the call, my asking that someone take care of the bug and spray the bathroom becomes a complaint about the smell of the room.

To the rescue comes Mamoud (sp?) from housekeeping, in rubber boots and the polo and cotton pants of the grounds crew, with incense and Clorox to make the room I’m staying smell cleaner and better.  I explain it’s not the smell, but a giant bug (breaking back into my signature oh god a bug dance – bust a move) that I’d like him to deal with.  He reaches out with his boot, smashes the bug with an audible crunch, matched by my stomach twisting, and then picks it up with his hand.  He then holds it out to me, and says, “It’s just a part of nature, come take a look.”  I creep out from the corner I had danced behind, and do indeed cosy up, kind of sadly, to the carcass to which he says, “You have heart.” And asks if I’m staying by myself.   I say yes, and he says is there anything else I need.  I explain that housekeeping is coming to help me find the modem.  He says, “Bah, I’ll call my friend, he’s the electrician here, and he’ll help.”

Eventually, the IT guy shows up – he’s in khakis, a button down and a tie, higher up on the Movenpick food chain – and he too cannot figure out where the modem is.  He explains that the hotel recently redecorated rooms, and he had to check where it was, and asks if I am staying by myself.  While he is trying to figure it out, my housekeeping friend gets his electrician friend to come over, and he finds the modem slot covered in the wall.  All three wait to make sure I can get online – it’s a party, me and three nice Egyptian men in my hotel room.

As the party ends, and the guests begin to leave, my new friend asks if I want a guard outside the door, he can get someone big and strong to make sure there is no trouble.  Aw, shucks.